This is a post I could have written at any point during this process. I've written about it already but the question I'm having more and more of these days is all about my medication. Currently I'm on iron, something for stomach acid and hydromorphone, aka dilaudid. It's basically morphine -- an opiate. But the funny thing is, I don't feel "high." And if you talk to me i sound pretty with it. I can't say the same for the first several days in the hospital. Those are a total blur. And people tell me I was speaking a language unfamiliar to them. It was unfamiliar to me as well, I can assure you. Anyhow, I'm aware of the fact that this stuff is highly addictive. But I'm told to not worry about it until a few weeks later, when I'm out of pain. Right now, as I'm typing, it is morning. I took my last dose at 5:08 a.m. (I write down the times) and it is now 10:07 a.m. That's five hours. So that's longer than I've gone. But now the pain is high. My joint is achy. It feels like a giant bruise and as I think about it, it hurts more. But this is a similar pain to the kind I had BEFORE the surgery when I'd do too much. It would feel almost like this. And I'd take something for it when it got this bad. Perhaps that's why I'm having trouble with meds; most people have good knees for many years -- decades -- then at some point in their 60s, 70s or 80s, their knee or knees start hurting. A lot. And then they have surgery. For me, the transition to a TKR has been far different. First surgery at 9 to remove my meniscus, then five subsequent arthroscopes to basically remove junk left over and created after the first surgery. I've had knee issues for 35 years, severe pain several times, and in the past decade -- maybe longer -- bone on bone arthritic pain. So it's complicated. Maybe, as the pain doctor said, my brain remembers the pain and records it differently. (I told her I could do hypnosis; she told me I just need better drugs.) I don't totally understand this but it makes sense. Maybe I have more scar tissue (I'm sure I do) and that might make a difference. Maybe I've developed a resistance. Probably all of the above. Anyhow I've been trying to cut back. Actually, I sort of did already; I'm off the fentanyl patch. It itched and I took it off and just never put a new one back on. So If in a month, I'm still writing about being on opiates, I suppose I have a problem. But I'm not really worried about it now. It's just hard because I have different people giving me different advise. The way I see it is if I start feeling "high," I should tone it back. As it is, during the day, I'm cutting back from 8 mg to 6... But if I'm in pain, then I can't heal; I can't do my exercises and furthermore, I'm unpleasant. PS Speaking of drugs, someone suggested yesterday that people looking for the 420 might be hitting my sight. Duh. The new JOINT. . I know. I live in San Francisco and I didn't even think of that. I MUST be high. I'll add a link later to a film that my friend did about medicinal marijuana. PPS My wonderful accupuncturist is about to come and I just took some meds so I'm not in pain during the treatment. PPS later this afternoon, I get the staples out. Finally!!
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